Make up and Tears
by samilynne24
Summary: All you TIVA fans...
1. Chapter 1

*****Disclaimer...I don't own NCIS or any of the characters. This is my first try so be easy on me :) I picked and chose the parts of the Tony/Ziva/Israel that I liked and changed others...Enjoy!******

Very Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo lifted his gaze and could faintly make out a small white cottage tucked neatly between a group of trees. The eeiry calm hung over the countryside and he could see the storm clouds forming over him. A slight rumble of thunder alerted him to the fact that this would be his last stop before the impending storm would call off another day's search for _his_ ninja. As he slowly approached the cottage that had been the childhood home of his former partner, millions of thoughts began to race through his mind. He stopped and took a deep breath; a nagging sensation in the back of his mind told him that this was just another dead end. He closed his eyes and closed out his thoughts, allowing himself to just feel for the first time in months. His eyes flew open as his gut told him this was it. He moved forward with a renewed determination for Anthony DiNozzo trusted only two things in his life; his team and his gut. When he was fifty feet in front of the small home, he saw a flicker of light coming from within. He blinked rapidly only to discover the light had gone. Without warning the clouds opened up and rain soaked through his clothes almost immediately, numbing his body, but that didn't stop the large grin that spread across his handsome face. Just as suddenly the front door flew open and there she stood. The woman that had taunted him every night in his dreams was finally before him. She rushed forward and he tried to keep his legs from buckling as her face became clearer. She stopped abruptly about five feet from him suddenly unsure of herself. She looked down at her feet and he could feel the uncertainty radiating off of her. He strided forward and crushed her small frame against his. After a moment of shock, she reciprocated and there they stood, in the pouring raining, clinging to each other as if their lives depended on it. It could have been minutes or hours before he became alert enough to recognize that they both were shivering. Tony drew back from her and smiled. Her clothes clung to her body, her hair was plastered to her head and her lips were turning blue from the cold, but to him, she was still the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen.

"Ziva," he breathed. The first word either of them had spoken. "You are freezing. Let's get you inside."

She nodded slightly and took his hand and pulled him toward the house. After closing the door behind them, Ziva led Tony to the fireplace in the back room of the house. She turned to face him with a large smile. "Tony," she said softly. She brought her hands to the stubbles on his face and couldn't help but appreciate how well he looked with a beard. He wrapped his arms around her waist pulling her back into his embrace.

"Sorry," he whispered. "It just doesn't feel real unless I'm touching you." She saw the hurt flicker across his face. "You sure didn't make it easy for me, you know."

"Oh Tony," she signed, "you know that I never meant to hurt you." She rested her head on his broad chest snaking her arms aroud his back. "I told myself that I left with the intention of never being found." She paused and pulled back to look at him. "But when I saw you out my window, I could not lie to myself anymore. I left knowing that I would be found by you."

He had to smile at that because, despite everything, his ninja still trusted and believed in him implicitly. He rested his forehead against hers and breathed in the scent that was Ziva. "We need to get out of these wet clothes," she said simply as she broke from his embrace and walked into the adjoining room. It wasn't long before she returned with a neatly folded stack of clothes. As he took them from her his eyes narrowed playfully.

"So all this time I've sat and worried that my favorite sweats and shirt had vanished only to discover they were with you all along. You little thief!" he accused as his eyes twinkled. She rolled her eyes and swatted his arm. He began to pull his saturated shirt from his body and Ziva frowned outwardly. He had lost weight and she felt guilt wash over her.

"I too will change and then I will cook you a large dinner." He met her gaze and saw she was focused on his thin waist. He sighed deeply at her guilty frown.

"I would give up food for the rest of my life if it meant I got you out of it". His eyes burned into hers and she saw he was speaking the truth. She nodded slightly, unsure of how to respond, and returned to the adjoining room to change her own clothes. When she returned in another set of his favorite sweats he couldn't help but chuckle out loud. "Geez I'm going to have to buy a whole new wardrobe when I get back."

They migrated to the kitchen and began to prepare dinner. They worked completely in sync as if they hadn't been apart for more than a few hours. They shared pleasant conversation during dinner mainly consisting of Ziva recounting her journeys since leaving America and Tony smiling at the appropriate times as he inhaled the spaghetti and meatballs set before him.

When he couldn't eat another bite he pushed away his plate and leaned back in his chair. "I haven't had something that delicious in months," he stated with a sigh. "Thank you, Ziva."

"I am sure you just have not eaten in months and that is why it tasted so good, no?"

"Hey, I've eaten," he replied defensively, "just not as much as I used too."

He looked up and her eyes softened. Without speaking she stood from her chair, walked over to him, and sat down on his lap. This action surprised him but he didn't show it. She wrapped her arms around his neck and whispered, "I'm sorry. You are a good man, Tony. In fact, you are the best man I know. I did not mean to upset you".

He gave her his DiNozzo charm smiled and replied, "The best man you know, huh?" She smirked at his cocky attitude. "Well I would take that as a compliment, but you don't know very many good men." He winked to make sure she knew he was kidding.

"I would say Gibbs is a magnificent man, no?" When he shook his head yes she finished simply, "I took him into account."

Tony pulled her in for a hug. His head was screaming at him to make a joke to lighten the situation, but just this once, he wanted her to know how much her words had meant. So he settled for silence and tried to convey his emotions in his physical hold on her.

"We need to talk," she whispered in his ear and he involuntarily shuddered. He knew this was different, that she was different, but any time he had ever heard those words come from a women, it never ended in his favor. So he reverted back into himself.

"Ok sweetcheeks, let's talk," he replied as he picked her up and headed toward the couch. He was delighted when a girlish squeal came from her mouth. In fact, he was so taken aback he almost dropped her. "Did you, my little ninja assassin, just squeal?" he asked with a smirk. She buried her head in his neck and giggled, surprising him for the second time in as many minutes. "And giggle? Who are you and what have you done with my partner?"

He plunked them down on the couch and held her firm to his lap when she tried to scoot over. "I am not going to run, Tony," she said softly and she removed his hands from her waist. "I just want to be able to look at you."

He nodded and slowly let her slide out of his embrace and into the couch cushion next to him. She turned her body so that she was facing him and he complied and did the same.

"So..." he said slowly, locking his eyes on her. She looked into his emeralds and saw the love and acceptance radiating from them.

She took a deep breath and began abruptly, "I am not returning to NCIS". She had finally spoken the words that she had kept to herself for so long and felt a weight lift from her shoulders. She eyed him and did not see the surprise that she thought she might.

"I know," he whispered.

"What? How do you know?" she asked, slightly flustered. It had always angered her that he seemed to know her next move before even she did. That he knew her better than she knew herself.

And he confirmed it for her. "Because I know you, Zi. Your heart can't take it anymore. I've known for a long time. Even before you left. I was just hoping it would take you longer to figure it out because that meant I still got you by my side." He paused and looked down at his hands. "I'm sorry. I should have told you that you needed a change."

She laughed incredulously. He was apologizing from not protecting her from herself. She took his stubbly face in her hands and pulled his head up to look into her eyes. "Oh Tony," she said with a soft smile. "It is not your job to save me from myself. If I would not have figured it out on my own, I would have been too stubborn to believe you. And then too stubborn to admit you were right. And so I would still be at NCIS becoming more and more miserable." He smiled at her confession. In her few months away, she had grown a lot and he was proud of her.

"I'm proud of you, Zi. How much you've grown. Talking about emotions and knowing your own stubborness," he said with a wink.

She smiled at him and kissed him lightly on the cheek. "You are the one who helped me grow, Tony. You still help me grow, every day. When I look back to who I was when we met, I cannot believe where I am now. You gave me a life that I never expected to have." Her eyes teared and he pulled her in for a hug, kissing her soft hair a few times because he could.

She pulled back a short while later and looked at him seriously. "Tony, I have things I need to say. Please let me say them all before you hug me anymore. Your touch is distracting and I find I cannot remember what it is I need to tell you when you do that."

He was going to responded with a sassy remark but something in her eyes told him not to. He swallowed down his remark and nodded encouragingly.

"I have been through a lot of things, mostly at the hand of my father, that had made it hard for me to open myself up. But since the moment we met, you would not accept that. You demanded me to show emotion. You demanded me to open up if only for a moment. You demanded me to trust in people again. And at first I hated you for it. I hated you for your cocky smile that melted my heart. I hated you for your caring words when I was upset. I hated you for making me confide in Abby about "girl things" and McGee for "nerd things". Mostly, I hated you because you were making me vulnerable and that was something I was taught to never be. And I was scared. You scared me. You still scare me. Here you are, a man who is as close to perfect as is possible, and you care about me. Despite everything you have learned about me. My demons. My family. You are always there, beside me. Telling me it is ok. Telling me it is not my fault. You have so much faith in the person that I am, and it scares me. Because I do not have that faith in myself. I am a broken soul. An emotionless assassin. I have done horrible things in my life and I do not deserve your faith in me."

She chanced to look in his eyes to see that they were glassy. "Zi," he said quietly, "you are not emotionless. You are not an assassin. You are not your father or your brother. And it's because you remember every mission. You remember every target. You remember every op and who was lost at your hands. And you care and you mourn for those people who were terrible souls. Maybe not openly, but inside. And it eats you away. And you let it, because you think you deserve it. And that is what sets you apart. The tears you shed for terrorists and rapists and murderers. Tears, not of regret for saving others from their evil, but tears because, at the end of the day, they were still human. And that is why you are the best person that I know."

Tears fell freely from her eyes. He gently caressed her face and wiped her tears with the pads of his thumbs. Then he slowly leaned forward and kissed her softly. He could taste her sweet escense mixed with salty tears. The kiss was slow and gentle, grounding her. She was the first to end the kiss and rested her forehead on his.

"I still have more to say," she whispered. "I promise I will hurry and then there can be much more of that later," she said with a wink.

"Sorry, sweetcheeks," he responded huskily. "Continue."

"I want to thank you, Tony," she said simply. It caught him off guard and this time he couldn't hide it. She had to smirk at the shocked expression on his face. "I want to thank you for saving me. From explosions. From murderers. From crazy boyfriends. From my brother. From my father. But mostly, from myself. Your belief in who I am has given me the strength to start fresh. To start over. A new beginning. A chance to save what is left of my soul." She squeezed his hand softly. "And I also need to tell you during this long, difficult journey, I need to be alone. I am afraid that if I don't do this myself, I will never change. I will not be coming back to D.C."

"Ziva," he said sounding every bit as deflated as he felt. "Please, come home."

"You said you understood that I was not coming back to NCIS, no?"

"I didn't say NCIS. I said home. Look, I know you want to change. Let me help you, let me change with you." Ziva looked into his pleading eyes and almost broke. "I don't care if you flip hamburgers at McDonalds. Or volunteer. Or teach. You can do whatever you want to do. Whatever you need to do. Because I want what you want. But please, Zi, come back to D.C. with me." Tony's voice broke and it pushed Ziva over the edge. Tears streamed down her face and she rested her forehead on his. "I'm fighting for you, Ziva," he whispered.

She buried her face into his broad chest and sobbed because life had never been fair to Ziva David. It wasn't fair when she lost her mother and sister. It wasn't fair when she had to kill her brother. It wasn't fair that her father was...her father. It wasn't fair that starting over meant leaving her surrogate NCIS family. And mostly, it wasn't fair that she had to lose the man she loved because she was too broken to give him what he deserved.

After a while her sobs subsided and he lessened his grip so she could pull out of his embrace. She saw the large wet spot on his shirt and wondered what she did to deserve a man who let her ruin his favorite shirt with make-up and tears.


	2. Chapter 2

******The first portion of this story was actually written and saved on my computer since Ziva actually left the show...I hadn't planned on continuing it so here is a little "wrap up" of events. It felt a bit rushed to me but I wanted to give you all some closure. Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoy.*********

The following week was filled with a whirlwind of years of pent up love and emotion. With Tony's help she began and buried a new "I Will" list that simply said "I will change this for him". The week was loving, laughing, dancing and singing. It was perfection. And as always with the best things in life, the week ended much too soon. Ziva wasn't sure how they'd gotten there, but she suddenly found herself standing in front of the best man she knew while he was getting ready to board an airplane back to D.C. She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply. Even amongst the many smells of the tarmac, all she could smell was the cologne and musk of her best friend. When she opened her eyes again he was no longer in her line of sight. She panicked briefly, thinking he had walked away from her, and whipped her head around in search of his handsome face. A gentle tug on her hand made her look down and there he was. Very Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo was down on one knee in front of _her. _He had a lopsided smile on his face as he looked at her startled expression.

"Marry me" he said simply. He produced a black velvet box from his pants pocket and held it open to her. He could see the panic wash across her face and he squeezed her hand to get her attention. "I know you have things you need to do. And I know that you need to do them alone. But whenever you're ready for me, I want to be by your side for the rest of my life. Whether that's in D.C. or Israel or the North Pole. Whenever you're ready, I'll be anything you need me to be."

Tears flowed freely down her face. "Tony," she breathed.

He sensed hesitance in her voice and interrupted her before she could say anything else. "Please Ziva. Don't punish yourself anymore. I love you. And I can't live without you, I guess." He trailed off as the reference to Somalia brought a smirk to her tear-filled face.

"Tony," she said again. "If you would have let me finish, I was simply going to say yes."

His breath caught. "Yes what?" he demanded.

"Yes, I will marry you." The smile on his face made her lose her breath. Before she could say anything else he picked her up and crushed her to his body as he spun her around. When he set her back down he kissed her softly as he slipped the diamond ring on her finger.

"Tony," she said, barely above a whisper, "I love you, too."

He placed his forehead against hers as he heard the airport intercom call for immediate boarding.

He sighed and finally said, "Hardest 180 of my life".

She watched as he walked confidently toward the airplane. When he reached the top of the steps he turned to her and waved. She waved back as the tears continued to roll down her face. She stood there and watched until the plane took off and disappeared out of sight. As she walked back to her vehicle she smiled. Things had never been fair for Ziva David but, along with everything else in her life, she was going to change that _For Him_.


End file.
